Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye
(Yes! I know I can’t sing. My apologies to Steam)
Who recommended: Lynne Waymon
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What I am reading: Make Your Contacts Count (Networking Know-How For Business and Career Success) by Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon
Where in the book: page 143
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Why I am reading: Learning how to network. Cause believe me, I have no CLUE!
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Which quote: “End with the Future In Mind.”
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How this quote adjusted my thinking:
Talk about being clueless. I had no idea there was a formality to saying good bye. If you have ever been to an event with me and I forgot to say good bye formally, please accept my apology. It truly was an oversight. Typically, I would not end a conversation with a good bye because I am thinking I should wait until the end of the event. If I am leaving independent of a group, it is easy to just revisit people and say good bye. If everyone in attendance is leaving at the same time, it is easy to wish everyone well as you move out of the event. Where my technique fails me is if a I join a group of people who are leaving while others are still milling about. I tend to get caught up in the moment and forget to say good bye to people who are not leaving yet.
Now, maybe this does not seem significant. However, I actually saw the scenario play out in front of me. When I arrived at this particular networking event, Precious and Treat were already talking. They welcomed me to their conversation. At this networking event, Treat knows everyone in the room – well. After greeting each other, Treat gracefully excuses herself to talk to another cluster of networkers. Precious and I engage in a conversation, then someone else joined and Precious moved to another group of networkers. The event lasted about two hours. Towards the end, Precious noticed I had a moment to myself, she approaches me saying,
“Did Treat leave?”
“I don’t know.” I say starting to look around the room.
“Well..” Precious looks around the room too. “I think she left.”
“Did you need her for something?” I ask Precious.
“No. I wanted to say good bye.” Precious is still scanning the room for Treat. I see networkers leaving in little batches.
“Maybe she did leave.” I am not really sure what to say.
“She didn’t say good bye. I wonder why she would leave like that…without saying good bye.” Precious looks resigned.
“She might have gotten distracted by the group she left with.” I say trying to be conciliatory and helpful.
Precious shrugs and walks away.
I have been in the position of both Precious and Treat. Seeing it from the filter of having read “Make Your Contacts Count” I see the value in knowing a few different formal ways to say good bye.
Beautiful weather we are having…
Who recommended: Lynne Waymon
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What I am reading: Make Your Contacts Count (Networking Know-How For Business and Career Success) by Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon
Where in the book: page 126
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Why I am reading: Learning how to network. Cause believe me, I have no CLUE!
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Which quote: “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it…As with other ritual topics, if you are Seriously Curious, the weather can become interesting.”
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How this quote adjusted my thinking:
WOW! This is so cool. I had never considered making the topic of weather “interesting.” I used to think if the conversation drifted to talking about weather that it was a polite cue to move along. Thinking back, I can remember a couple of times where I was thinking “I wish I knew how to engage this conversation.” I also remember a conversation where I used this tool.
I was at the food store when I bumped into a neighbor I had not seen in awhile. We went through the ritual greeting:
“Hi!”
“How are you?”
“What have you been up to?”
Then, she said “It’s a beautiful day today.”
To which I responded “I know! and we are stuck at the food store! I bet you wish you were home enjoying your pool.”
The conversation blossomed. I learned she had not “officially” opened her pool because she was going on vacation. I also learned a little bit about how much work goes into preparing the pool for swimming. She told me when her pool would be ready and invited me over for a pool play date with our families. (Which, by the way, was wonderful!)
I am going to apply this technique in my professional interactions, too. Obviously this technique is successful because I remembered the conversation with my neighbor.
“MORE” & “REAL”
Who recommended: Lynne Waymon
What I am reading: Make Your Contacts Count (Networking Know-How For Business and Career Success) by Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon
Where in the book: page 117
Why I am reading: Learning how to network. Cause believe me, I have no CLUE!
Which quote: “Tell your contacts, straight out, what’s on your Agenda. Your honesty about your purposes will increase your sense of competence and professionalism.”
How this quote adjusted my thinking:
Before I attend my next networking event, I want to brainstorm a few ideas so I can select from these options preferably to have a solid agenda at the event.
“What can *I* give?” The “MORE” I can contribute:
“M=Methods”
* How to get involved in social networking
* How to be a part of virtual worlds
* How to start an online University
“O=Opportunities”
* Be an online instructor
* Develop course materials for an online class
* Entrepreneurship in virtual worlds
“R=Resources”
* Rockcliffe University Consortium, Inc.
* “Get Clients Now!” coach, Cristina Favreau
“E=Enthusiasms”
* I attended the IVAA Live Summit. It was so much more than I ever expected!
* Social networking worked for me!
* I participate in a virtual Relay for Life. Raising money for the American Cancer Society is one way I give back to society.
“What do *I* want to get?” Ways I can “get REAL”
“R=Results”
* Research projects
* additional subscriptions
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“E=Expertise”
* web site developer
* graphic artist
* animation artist
“A=Access”
* partnership where I am a co-creator of a project
* collaboration where I contribute to a project
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“L=Leads”
* Blog writers looking for content inspiration
* Book authors looking for facts verified
* Professionals looking for information about an industry
“What do you do?”
Who recommended: Lynne Waymon
What I am reading: Make Your Contacts Count (Networking Know-How For Business and Career Success) by Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon
Where in the book: page 99
Why I am reading: Learning how to network. Cause believe me, I have no CLUE!
Which quote: “Give It Your Best.”
How this quote adjusted my thinking:
For some reason when people ask me “What do you do?” I fumble and falter. It is like a mirror raises between me and the person and I see my insecurities reflected back at me. It really is an innocent question. A lot of times people are making small talk or they are genuinely interested in finding out what I am doing. I know the importance of answering the question appropriately. It makes or breaks the social interaction.
I have been working on my response to give them my “best.” This is what I have so far:
“I work with individuals that want information delivered directly to them.”
I was trying to work in the tag line “Delivering Information Directly to You.”
It is weak in the image it creates. For example, lots of people get email every day. My service doe not revolve around email.
I am trying this now,
“I work with individuals who want to obtain information quickly and efficiently so they can focus on their priorities.”
Memorable name…
Who recommended: Lynne Waymon
What I am reading: Make Your Contacts Count (Networking Know-How For Business and Career Success) by Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon
Where in the book: page 87
Why I am reading: Learning how to network. Cause believe me, I have no CLUE!
Which quote: “Teach Your Name.”
How this quote adjusted my thinking:
Recently, I was at a networking event. There was a unique situation. There were several of us with a similar root name. Even though we had name tags on, I wanted to give my new found networking skills a whirl.
The first technique I tried was “Give ’em a double dip.” When people read my name on a name tag their brain pauses trying to figure out how to pronounce it. So this time, I said “Lara….Lara Nieberding.”
Now that they are trying to associate the spelling with the sounding, I tried “Separate and Articulate.” In the example above, I said my first name as it should roll off the tongue, “Lara” then I paused. I repeated my first name “Law R uh” with articulation and then stated my last name. I am not branding my name as my business so I made a choice to deemphasize my last name.
Do you watch NBC’s hit show “The Office?” One of the characters, Phyllis, announced she was getting married. When people asked her who she was engaged to, she would say “Robert Vance of Vance Refrigeration.” Every time Robert Vance is mentioned on the show, they always say “Robert Vance of Vance Refrigeration.” Obviously it worked. I still remember his name. (Check out Phyllis and Robert Vance of Vance Refrigeration’s wedding invitation.)
Since my business name is not tied to my name, I chose to emphasize my first name. I also thought emphasizing my first name is personable and hopefully speaks to building relationships. Now here is a struggle. “Make your name memorable.” At this particular networking event, there were at least three people with the root name “Laura.” I took to saying “It’s ‘Laura’ with out the ‘U.'” During the event, as I heard myself saying this, I thought this sounds antisocial. The room is noisy and busy. People might interpret what I am saying as “with out you.” NOT the impression I want to be leaving. I should have had a strategy. I should have really thought this out better. Well, it is back to the strategy board to try to come up with a better way to make my name memorable.
Unsolicited Advice…
Who recommended: Lynne Waymon
What I am reading: Make Your Contacts Count (Networking Know-How For Business and Career Success) by Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon
Where in the book: page 81
Why I am reading: Learning how to network. Cause believe me, I have no CLUE!
Which quote: “Avoid the Top Twenty Turn-Offs: Don’t give unsolicited advice.”
How this quote adjusted my thinking:
This piece of advice is tricky. I think there is a lot more judgment call on giving unsolicited advice. When I hear someone describe a situation, sometimes the person is so focused on the “heat” of what is going on, they might not recognize a solution. The person might not think to say, “What is your advice?” Their frame of mind is not there.
I have been in situations where I say, “Would you like to hear what I did when that happened to me?” Perhaps I am too sensitive, but there is this awkward moment when the conversation stops…the person hesitates and then politely agrees to listen. It is at that moment that I am not really sure they want to hear what I have to say. It feels like I am giving unsolicited advice. I leave feeling uncomfortable.
I have also been in situations where I say, “Would you like to hear what I did when that happened to me?” The person boldly says, “NO!” and charges the conversation along. At least they indicated they weren’t really looking for social interaction. I leave feeling disrespected.
When it comes to unsolicited advice, you have to have a keen sense judgment for the situation. Some instances it may be appropriate, if delivered humbly with the intent to give without expectation and it adds value to the situation. Some instances require one to recognize the other is just “blowing off steam” and to hold one’s tongue is the better course of action.
Guilty of Hiding…
Who recommended: Lynne Waymon
What I am reading: Make Your Contacts Count (Networking Know-How For Business and Career Success) by Anne Baber and Lynne Waymon
Where in the book: page 80
Why I am reading: Learning how to network. Cause believe me, I have no CLUE!
Which quote: “Avoid the top twenty turn-offs: Don’t Hide. Some people, not wanting to appear self-centered, never tell you anything about themselves.”
How this quote adjusted my thinking:
Guilty. Of all the top twenty networking turn-offs, I am most guilty of hiding. In a one on one conversation, I will share enough information to keep the conversation going. However, the other person will always have shared more. If I am in a group conversation, it is possible for people to walk away without having learned anything about me.
I had an interesting experience lately. I went to dinner with a group of colleagues. Now, mind you, I have read this book. I am trying to be very aware of my interactions. I am doing my best to make networking natural. I do not want it to look like I am forcing myself to do this. I want to be comfortable. Dinner begins and I am listening, asking questions and sharing about me, too. I am actually having a good time and I feel relaxed.
Then just before dessert, the conversation is flying… the wine has been flowing for my colleagues, the laughs are loud and the rhetoric is quick. “I am a Gemini” says one colleague and another jumps in “OH! me too!” responds another…the whole table is giggling and swapping humorous anecdotes. Then, the person across from me says, “Lara, what is your sign?” “I am a Capricorn.” “I KNEW IT!” Yells the person across from me. The whole table erupts in boisterous chatter. They described how I was just sitting back, taking it all in, watching everyone.
Uh…so much for new networking skills.
In conclusion…
Who recommended: Cristina Favreau, The Savvy Entrepreneur
What I am reading: Get Clients Now by C.J. Hayden
Where in the book: The End
Why I am reading: To make the most of my marketing
Which quote: “Marketing is telling people what you do over and over.”
How this quote adjusted my thinking: This concludes my journey through Get Clients Now. This has been such a positive experience. When I began, I was so overwhelmed with all the marketing information I was reading. I was full of negative self-talk, an unclear plan to achieve my goals and a limited action plan. My Get Clients Now coach, Cristina Favreau, was instrumental in helping me find my focus. Now, I have healthier self-talk, a clear plan for achieving my goals and a rich action plan. I am so glad I participated in the Get Clients Now program. I wish you success in your journey.
Delivery by the Universe…
Who recommended: Cristina Favreau, The Savvy Entrepreneur
What I am reading: Get Clients Now by C.J. Hayden
Where in the book: page 114
Why I am reading: To make the most of my marketing
Which quote: “When doing business with the universe, remember that you must place an order if you want to get a delivery.”
How this quote adjusted my thinking: I really have to wrap my head around this one. I have a tendency to be a negative nanny. “Well I put my order in but the universe didn’t deliver!” However, that is not necessarily true. If I am so preoccupied with keeping a scorecard of how the universe has not delivered, I will never see the moments the universe does deliver. This quote inspired me to keep a scorecard of all the moments the universe does deliver. With eyes wide open, I am amazed at how many orders the universe delivers.
Lara Nieberding 